英语翻译（此问作废）

人至贱则长命百岁 to base,long life
天黑请闭眼
朋友,内心升腾的欲念,将带给你无尽的痛苦!friends ,inner rising desires ,will bring you endless pain
我不是肥,我是毛发蓬松 I'm not fat i am hair fleeciness
如果我死了,随便找个女的作我妻子,告诉我爱她。if i were die just find a girl as my life tell me love her
我有规则。第一条规则：要永久……遵守……巴克!第二条规则,走路一定要走路中心。第三条规则……要放屁的人。走在部队的最终。
i have a rule the first:to permanent 。。。abide by 。。。buck !the second walk must walk center 。the third to break wind。。。walking in the final forces