2分钟英语幽默故事急求一个大约2分钟的英语幽默故事,不要太短!最好要有翻译

Good BoyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents。"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered。"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly。"Here are two cents more。But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy。"好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”“她是个卖糖果的。”Nest and HairMy sister,a primary school teacher,was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom。"What kind of bird?" my sister asked。"I didn't see the bird,ma' am,only the nest," replied the child。"Then,can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her 。"Well,ma'am,it just resembles your hair。"Notes:(1) inform v。告诉(2) nest n。窝；巢(3) description n。描述(4) encourage v。鼓励(5) resemble v。相似；类似18。鸟窝与头发我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。“是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。“我没看到鸟儿,老师,只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。“那么,你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道。“哦,老师,就像你的头发一样。”I've Just Bitten My Tongue"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother。"Yes,dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?""Cause I've just bitten my tongue!"Notes:(1) poisonous adj。有毒的(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。我刚咬破自己的舌头“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。“是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?”“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”A Woman Who FellIt was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate,a plump,middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind,lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back。Her momentum carried her close to my shoes。Before I could help her,however,she had scrambled up。Gaining her composure,she winked at me and said,"Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"摔倒的女人上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口,一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来,没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚,仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她,她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下,对我挤了一下眉,说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”