I do not know what I have said.

I do not know what I have said.Now,I am grade four in my university.Why time fly so fast?I have kowned what is a real university untill now,but I can not go back.My mind is down step by step.Why did you choose this title?You may asked.There is only one reason:I must learn it,yes,I must.Do you like learing english?I liked it,but I hate it now.Do I hate myself in ture.When I was a junior middle school's student,my english was so poor at first.Untill I was grade three,must faced to the exam of high middle school.I was anxious and did not know how and what to do.At this time,one person came into my life,she was my second english teacher Ms Luo.She always worked hard and strict with us.She demonded us to recite every text and english note.So,My english was much better than before.Certainly I made a good score when I graduated.although I did not see her for about eight years,my heart was full of appreciation when I thought of her.Believe it or not,I entered into No.* middle school which is one of the best in harbin.I must accept a truth,I am lazy and priggish.Because I didn't work hard in No.* middle school.At last,I ate the acid fruit whice was made by myself.I just came to the *** University and learning markering.Unfortunatly,I did not realized the importance of study still.In the pass time of my university,I played netgames and palying-card all night long,played football when it was the time to study classes,even when I go to classroom,I was reading novel.I was corrupt.I didn't pass the college english text 4 time and again.There was really a bad news for me when I decided to drop english study which is that I can't go to any large company to work.It means that I will not have a good income.What's then?I think that I will can't support myself and my mother who I loved most in this world.I don't want to prove how spineless I am,so there is only one way out---learn it.It is more difficult to do it than to say.I feel lonely and big stress.I always think that I am a rubbish.My confidence has gone,only leaved unaided.I feel I am an utterly worthless person.I can't drop this mind.Why do I write these stuff?Although I have many good friends,I can't tell them this.They are all busy day and night.What I should do are not complain but endure it myself.Where there is a will there is a way.Attitude,after all,is everything.No pains,no gains.And so on.At this time,I really can't understand anyone of them.