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although I have studied my major for 5 years。But I know,my knowledge is limited,and I have a long way to go on my major。标准中国式英语。although和but不能一起用的!去掉其中一个On the one hand。。。On the other hand不能乱用的一般表示两个相反的意思,突出内容的对比性,相当于but。recommend也不是这样用的。要么recommend that。。。跟从句,要么recommend sth。要么recommend sb。to do。。recommend sth to sb是指把某物托付给某人,你的朋友把这所大学托付给你了?应改成：I have studied my major for 5 years。But I know my knowledge is limited,and I have a long way to go on my major。Besides,my friend who graduated from your university recommended me to enter your university for a further study。SO I think if I could have a chance to study at your school and finally obtain a Master’s Degree of Medicine,I would be very lucky!首先,不要用school,那是给人家降档次。其次,So I think很累赘。"I think。。。"这种句型只有在别人让你表达看法,或者当你成为了某一方面的权威,发表权威性看法的时候才能用。不知道为什么中国学生都喜欢用这两个词。最后,句型应该倒装,把lucky放到前面去。应改成：It would be very lucky if I could have a chance to study at your university and obtain a Master's Degree of Medicine。Could you please tell me something about your university such as the fee I should pay and how about the accommodation and their qualifications。学费有专有的一个词：tuition,不要用fee。还有我不知道你的qualifications是指什么?指入住宿舍的资格条件吗?如果不是的话就把qualifications放到第一个来讲,毕竟这是最重要的。Would you please give me some information about the qualification for your university,the tuition as well as the accommodation condition。