【跪求】中短篇英语笑话5则（带翻译）,字数不要太多,100--300词左右,一定要很好笑.

Mrs。Brown:Oh,my dear,I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs。Smith:But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs。Brown:It's no use,my little dog can't read。
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦,
亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!
布朗夫人：没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents。"What did you do with
the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered。
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly。"Here are two cents
more。But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy。"
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老
太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
The Perfect Son。
A:I have the perfect son。
B:Does he smoke?
A:No,he doesn't。
B:Does he drink whiskey?
A:No,he doesn't。
B:Does he ever come home late?
A:No,he doesn't。
B:I guess you really do have the perfect son。How old is he?
A:He will be six months old next Wednesday。
完美儿子
A:我有一个很完美的儿子。
B:他抽烟吗?
A:不抽。
B:他喝威士忌酒吗?
A:不喝。
B:他会不会很晚回家?
B:我想你确实有一个完美儿子。那他多大了?
A:下个星期三就满6个月了。
They are directly from America
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States,she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her。At the bank counter,the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real。It made the old lady out of patience。
At last she could not hold any more,uttering。"Trust me,Sir,and trust the money。They are real US dollars。They are directly from America。"
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元,它们是从美国直接带来的。”
Bring me the winner
-- Waiter,this lobster has only one claw。
-- I'm sorry,sir。It must have been in a fight。
-- Well,bring me the winner then。
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员,
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦,那给我那个打赢的吧
Drunk
One day,a father and his little son were going home。At this age,the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions。Now,he asked,"What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk',dad?" "Well,my son," his father replied,"look,there are standing two policemen。If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk。"
"But,dad," the boy said," there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸,” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸,”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese。The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate。The visitor smiled,put the cheese into his mouth and then said:"You must have better eyes than your mother,sonny。Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap,sir," replied the boy。
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生。”那小男孩说。
（不知道这些行不行,虽然我都是去网上找的,